UMMM YEA, OK, SOOOO...I DID THE DIRTY DEED...ABOUT FREAKIN TIME!!! LOL. IT WENT WELL...LOL. I WAS VERY NERVOUS AT FIRST BEING THAT IT WAS SOMEONE I'VE KNOWN FOR A WHILE AND HAD NEVER SEEN IN THAT...LIGHT, SO TO SPEAK. YEA, I WONT LIE, I HAD A BIT OF A CRUSH ON DUDE FOR A WHILE. HE COULD MOST DEF GET IT...AND, WELL, HE DID! HA! I DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIM...BUT I KNOW I ENJOYED MYSELF VERY MUCH! LOL. I WOULD NOT MIND GOING DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN...I'M A LITTLE BLACK AND BLUE AND A TOUCH SORE, BUT ALL WELL WORTH IT ........................... SORRY WAS HAVING A FLASHBACK LOL. ANYWHOOOO...
I HAVE TO ADMIT TO FEELING A LITTLE BIT BAD WHILE I WAS AT DUDES HOUSE...MIND YOU, NOTHING WOULD HAVE KEPT ME FROM GOING OVER...I WANTED HIM TO FUCK MY BRAINS OUT! LOL, HOWEVER, I HAD A FEW MISSED MESSAGES FROM THE GUY I LIKE. IN ONE, HE ASKED ME IF I WOULD BE FAITHFUL TO HIM WERE WE TO END UP TOGETHER...TALK ABOUT PERFECT TIMING! LMAO. BUT THE TRUTH IS, WHEN I'M WITH SOMEONE, I AM FAITHFUL. HOW I SEE IT IS, IF YOU REALLY FEEL THE NEED TO CHEAT SO BADLY, YOU SHOULD JUST BREAK UP WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. BECAUSE THAT JUST MEANS THAT YOU'RE NOT AS HAPPY WITH THAT PERSON AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. I KNOW FOR A FACT, THAT WHEN I'M IN LOVE...NO ONE ELSE EVEN EXISTS. I HAVE CHEATED, WONT DENY IT. BUT I CHEATED AFTER BEING CHEATED ON, ONLY AS A FORM OF (STUPIDITY) REVENGE. FOR BEING HURT BY SOMEONE I WAS WITH. I AM A SERIOUS FLIRT! I LOVE TO FLIRT! BUT I NEVER TAKE IT PAST THE FLIRTING STAGE. I'M WHAT SOME MIGHT CALL, A DICK TEASE...LMFAO. POINT IS, I DON'T CHEAT. AND I MUST SAY, THAT HIM ASKING ME IN THE FIRST PLACE, MADE ME HAPPY. WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE, I DO LIKE HIM. I KNOW, HOW VERY HIGH SCHOOL OF ME! LOL. BUT I DO. SO NOW I'M WORRIED I MAY END UP FALLING FOR THIS GUY AND HE'S GOING TO LEAVE ME...YEA IT'S ONLY FOR 6 MONTHS, BUT STILL. UGH...I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING OR FEELING ANYMORE. I KNOW I'M NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP. I PROVED THAT TO MYSELF HOW MANY TIMES ALREADY??? YET AND STILL, A PART OF ME WANTS TO BELIEVE I CAN BE IN A HAPPY, TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP AGAIN SOMEDAY SOON. I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER. NOT THAT I'M BY ANY MEANS OLD...I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOOK BACK AT MY LIFE ONE DAY AND REALIZE I HELD BACK FROM ANYTHING. THUS FAR, I DON'T BELIEVE I HAVE. ANYWAY, WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS WITH MY "OFFICER"...
IT'S CRAZY, I HAVE THIS GUY I LIKE, A FRIEND I JUST HAD SEX WITH THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY, AND A COUPLE OF GUYS I FLIRT WITH HARDBODY...LOL...YET, I STILL HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY I'M BORED SOMETIMES! LMAO. EVEN CRAZIER IS THE FACT THAT WITH ALL OF THESE DUDES, I FINALLY HAD SEX AFTER 3 FREAKIN MONTHS! I AM A DAMN DICK TEASE! WOW. LOL. WELL, I'M OFF TO DO THE MOMMY THING...THE ONE THING THAT KEEPS ME SANE AND FOCUSED.
TIL THE NEXT TIME...
***BESITOS***
~JANE~
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