CRAZIER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED...

OK...SO, I WAS HANGING OUT WITH A COUPLE OF MY BOYS AFTER WORK YESTERDAY...I GOT OUT LIKE AT 2PM, SO IT WAS VERY EARLY, LOL...AND WE WERE HAVING SOME BEERS AND TALKING SHIT. YES, AT 2 IN THE AFTERNOON! LOL. ICE COLD CORONAS AND HEINEKENS KICK ASS WHEN YOU'RE TIRED FROM A LONG DAY!!! NOW I HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT ONE OF MY BOYS HAS A THING FOR ME. HE HAS BEEN VERY VOCAL ABOUT HIS FEELINGS. HE DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE IN HELL CUZ I JUST SO HAPPEN TO KNOW HIS GIRLFRIEND AKA BABY MAMA!!! AT ONE POINT, I NOTICED HIM CHECKING OUT THE BOOBIES...MIND YOU, MY BOOBS ARE MY MOST ATTRACTIVE ATTRIBUTE, AT LEAST I THINK SO! LOL. SO I'M USED TO IT. BUT SOMETHING IN THE WAY HE LOOKED UP AT ME WHEN I CAUGHT HIM MADE ME VERY SAD FOR HIM. IT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE. ALMOST LIKE A LONGING...I'M NOT VERY FAMILIAR WITH THAT LOOK. ANYWAY, I FELT I SHOULD BREAK THE TENSION THAT HAD STARTED TO SUFFOCATE ME A LITTLE AND BROUGHT UP SOMEONE I HAVE BEEN "TALKING" TO RECENTLY...LET ME START BY SAYING, I DON'T MAKE IT A HABIT OF "TALKING" TO GUYS I MET ONLINE...WITH THAT SAID, I HAVE STARTED SOME PRETTY HEAVY FLIRTING WITH A MAN I MET, BASICALLY, ON TWITTER! LMAO...I KNOW, IT'S CRAZY. BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT...HE HAS KINDA GOTTEN TO ME! (I'M GUESSING YOU HAVE ALL REALIZED THAT THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT MY BOY, LOL) I EVEN SENT THIS DUDE SOME NOT SO INNOCENT PIX OF MYSELF!!! AM I BUGGIN THE FUCK OUT OR WHAT??? I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM LIKE THAT! WE STARTED OUT TALKING LIKE 2 NORMAL PEOPLE AND I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED! LOL. AYYYYY BUT I THINK HE'S SO COOL...YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FAR A PERSONALITY AND INTELLIGENCE CAN GET YOU IN MY WORLD!!! SMART IS SOOO SEXY TO ME! THE COOLEST PART IS, THAT HE CAN DIRTY TALK JUST AS WELL AS I CAN! LMAO...NOT THAT I'M A TOTAL PERV! BUT YA TU SABE! LOL...IT'S FUNNY THOUGH, WE WERE LITERALLY STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER ONE NIGHT A FEW WEEKS BACK BUT WERE NEVER INTRODUCED...ANYWAY, ALL I HOPE IS TO NOT BE DISAPPOINTED IF AND/OR WHEN HE TURNS OUT TO BE A JERK OR SOME SHIT.

OH EM GEE...SIDENOTE PEOPLE...
MY STALKER IS BACK AND IN FULL OPERATING MODE!!! I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF HIS ASS FOR GOOD! IT'S BEEN ALMOST A WEEK SINCE HE LAST MESSAGED OR CALLED ME, BUT IT SEEMS HE WAS JUST ON HIATUS AND IS BACK FOR A SECOND SEASON OF STALKING!!! GUESS IT'S TIME FOR THE CLAWS TO COME OUT AGAIN...I SHALL KEEP YOU ALL UPDATED ON BOTH TOPICS LOL....

TIL THE NEXT TIME...

***BESITOS***

~JANE~

PEOPLE SUCK!!!!

SO....HALFWAY TO CONNECTICUT LAST NIGHT I GET A CALL FROM MY SISTER AND I RECEIVED SOME NEWS THAT PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF!!! SO I DECIDED TO TURN THE FUCK AROUND AND COME BACK HOME!!! I LOVE MY FAMILY WITH ALL MY HEART! I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ANY ONE OF MY SISTERS...BUT FOR ME TO TAKE ANY SHIT FROM MY SISTER'S SPERM DONOR??? HMMM NOPE, NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! I MUST ADMIT IT WAS VERY AMUSING TO ME THAT HE ACTUALLY BELIEVED I WOULD FOLLOW ANY OF HIS RULES OR REGULATIONS...IN THIS CASE, MY EX WAS NOT WELCOME AT HIS HOUSE. HIS HOUSE??? YOU MEAN THE ONE MY SISTER PAID FOR? YEA OK, WHATEVER LOSER! BUT RATHER THAN DRIVE ALL THE WAY OVER THERE AND JUST END UP IN YET ANOTHER FAMILY BATTLE, I CHOSE TO NOT GO AT ALL. NOW I FEEL BAD, CUZ IT WASN'T JUST ABOUT IT BEING MEMORIAL WEEKEND...LET'S FACE IT, WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT!!! LOL. IT WAS A FAMILY GET TOGETHER. WE WERE ALSO GOING TO CELEBRATE MY NEPHEW'S BIRTHDAY WHICH WAS ON THE 19TH. I FEEL LIKE I LET HIM DOWN. I WENT THROUGH MY SHARE OF TEARS LAST NIGHT. NOT ONLY BECAUSE I LET MY 7 YEAR OLD NEPHEW DOWN, BUT ALSO BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE MY SISTER LET'S HER MAN RULE HER LIFE. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH RESPECTING YOUR PARTNER'S WISHES. WHEN I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP, I BASE A LOT OF WHAT I DO OR DON'T DO ON HOW MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER FEELS. IT'S ONLY RIGHT. HOWEVER, WHEN IT COMES TO FAMILY, ESPECIALLY ONE AS CLOSE AS OURS, THAT SIGNIFICANT OTHER SHOULD HAVE NO SAY. CUZ YOU CAN BREAK UP WITH YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE/BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND...BUT YOUR FAMILY IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE YOUR FAMILY!!! MY SISTER AND I HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT SINCE SHE'S BEEN WITH THIS MAN. WHEN I SAY A LOT...I MEAN I EVEN SPENT 3 NIGHTS IN JAIL BECAUSE OF THEM. I FORGAVE MY SISTER BECAUSE I LOVE HER. SHE'S MY BABY SIS...HIM? HE CAN CHOKE ON A DRY COCK FOR ALL I CARE! NOW DO NOT GET ME WRONG...IF HE WERE GOOD TO HER, I WOULD AT LEAST GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT. BUT THE GOOD FOR NOTHING PIECE OF SHIT HAS EVEN BEEN PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO HER SINCE THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER!!! BASTARD HIT HER WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT!!! THE WORST PART IS, THAT AS AN ADULT, I REALLY HAVE NO SAY IN WHAT SHE DOES OR WHAT SHE ALLOWS TO BE DONE TO HER...SO I JUST STAND BACK AND LET HER LIVE HER LIFE. SHE SAYS SHE LOVES HIM...THERE'S NOTHING ANY ONE OF US CAN SAY TO MAKE HER REALIZE SHE'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. ANYWAY, I'M GOING OFF TOPIC...WHICH IS PROBABLY A GOOD THING! MAYBE IF SHE READ THIS SHE WOULD OPEN HER EYES!!! BUT NO, THE POINT IN THIS POST WAS TO EXPRESS MY DISAPPOINTMENT AT NOT SPENDING TIME WITH MY FAMILY THIS WEEKEND. WELL, MY WHOLE FAMILY I MEAN. CUZ WHEN WE TURNED THE CAR AROUND, WE HEADED OUR ASSES STRAIGHT TO TIMES SQUARE,LOL. ENDED UP AT APPLEBEES CUZ WE WERE STARVING! SO IT WASN'T ALL BAD. I HAVE OTHER THINGS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT, BUT I'M GOING TO START ANOTHER POST...DOESN'T REALLY GO WITH THIS ONE LOL...

~JANE~

I'M ME...

IS IT STUPID TO FEEL LIKE THERE MAY BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME FOR STILL BEING SINGLE? IT SEEMS I GET ASKED THIS QUESTION EVERYDAY... "WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?" I GIVE THE STANDARD RESPONSE, "TIRED OF THE DRAMA THAT COMES WITH BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP"...WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE. ALSO, I LIKE BEING SINGLE! I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR OVER 4 YEARS AND IT WASN'T EASY. I WAS VERY MUCH IN LOVE...BUT LOVE SOMETIMES IS NOT ENOUGH TO HOLD TWO PEOPLE TOGETHER. WE ARE GOOD FRIENDS STILL. I WILL BE HERE FOR HER AS LONG AS SHE NEEDS ME. AND YES, I DID ATTEMPT A COUPLE OF RELATIONSHIPS SINCE THEN. HOWEVER, I KNEW I WASN'T READY TO GIVE MY ALL TO SOMEONE ELSE. SO WHY PUT A PERSON THROUGH THAT UNNECESSARILY? I STILL FEEL A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF GUILT FOR THE LAST GUY I DATED...HE FELL IN LOVE AND I DID NOT. IT WAS A VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION FOR US BOTH. I NEVER INTENTIONALLY SET OUT TO HURT ANYONE...BUT I HURT HIM VERY MUCH. THANKFULLY HE HAS FORGIVEN ME AND WE ARE FRIENDS AGAIN. MAINTAINING MY FRIENDSHIPS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. I HAVE A BIG HEART AND A BIG ASS SMILE! I LOVE TO SHARE IT! YEA, MAYBE I'M CORNY...BUT I DON'T CARE. I HAVE ALWAYS JUST BEEN MYSELF...WHETHER IT BE HAPPY, BITCHY, IN YOUR FACE...I AM WHO I AM, AT ALL TIMES! DAMN, THAT SOUNDED ALL POPEYE EMPOWERED N SHIT! LMAO. JOKES ASIDE, I CAN'T EVER PORTRAY MYSELF AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN ME. IT'S NOT IN ME TO BE PHONY. FAKE ASS PEOPLE SUCK SWEATY BALLZ! AND I REFUSE TO BE ONE! DAMN, I THINK I JUST ANSWERED MY OWN QUESTION...THERE AINT SHIT WRONG WITH ME!!! I'M JUST A GROWN UP AND HAVE TO GET USED TO IT, LOL. I SUPPOSE IT DOES TAKE A CERTAIN LEVEL OF MATURITY TO KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN. SO FOR FUTURE REFERENCE, TO ANYONE INTERESTED IN THE ANSWER...I'M NOT SINGLE CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME OR CUZ I'VE BEEN DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR...IT'S JUST MY TIME TO BE ALONE. AND REMEMBER FOLKS, ALONE IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH BEING LONELY. I AM BY NO MEANS LONELY. I AM ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. IT FEELS GOOD TO HAVE FREEDOM...BUT DON'T GET ME WRONG, IF SOMEONE CATCHES MY ATTENTION...MY GOOD GIRL SIDE WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE REINSTATED! LOL...HONESTY AND TRUST IS KEY! SO TIL NEXT TIME BABYLUVS....

YA TU SABE...

~JANE~

EXPRESS TRAIN TO HELL...

OK, SO...I KNOW DEEP DOWN I AM A GOOD PERSON. THAT I HAVE A GOOD HEART AND AM A VERY COMPASSIONATE HUMAN BEING. I KNOW THAT I DON'T ALWAYS MAKE THE BEST DECISIONS. HOWEVER, I NEVER INTENTIONALLY SET OUT TO DO SOMETHING TO PURPOSELY HURT ANYONE ELSE. AS THEY SAY, SHIT HAPPENS! MY PROBLEM IS THAT I ALWAYS GO FOR WHAT I WANT. IT MAY SEEM LIKE A "DUH" THING TO DO. BUT TRUST ME, IT'S NOT ALWAYS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. OK, MAYBE CALLING IT THE "WRONG" THING IS GOING A BIT FAR...BUT IF A PART OF ME KNOWS IT AINT RIGHT...THEN YA TU SABE! LOL. SEE IT'S LIKE THIS...A VERY YOUNG MAN HAS TICKLED MY FANCY, LOL. WHEN I SAY YOUNG, I MEAN LIKE ONLY A YEAR OLDER THAN MY SON YOUNG!!! OMG, I KNOW!!!! I'M GOING TO FUCKING HELL!!! VIP SECTION RESERVED JUST FOR ME!!! FINE, HE WILL BE 20 SOON...OH DEAR LORD, DID I JUST SAY THAT?!? YUP, 20! BUT THIS KIDS SWAGG IS CRAZY!!! LOL. AND WHAT REALLY GETS ME IS...THAT HE WANTS ME BAD! LMAO!!! WHO DOESN'T LOVE THAT SHIT?!? HE THINKS I'M SEXY, WHICH IS ALWAYS HOT! AND WANTS ME TO SHOW HIM A THING OR 2, LOL. HOW BAD IS IT THAT I WANT TO SHOW HIM EVERY GODDAMN THING I KNOW?!?!? YEA, NOW BOARDING THE EXPRESS TRAIN TO HELL....WELL FUCK IT, AT LEAST I WILL SEE SOME OF MY FRIENDS THERE...I MIGHT EVEN SEE SOME OR ALL OF YOU! LOL...I'LL KEEP YOU ALL UPDATED ON WHAT I FINALLY DECIDE TO DO. REALISTICALLY SPEAKING...I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE ALREADY MADE MY DECISION...LMFAOOOOOO...AT LEAST I'M HONEST DAMMIT!

UNTIL THE NEXT DRAMEDY...

***BESITOS AMORES***

~JANE~

YEA IT'S ANOTHER ONE...

SO I'M SITTING HERE LISTENING TO MY 13 YEAR OLD NEPHEW TELL ME ABOUT HIS METRO-NORTH EXPLOITS...LMAO...AND I CAN'T FREAKIN BELIEVE HOW QUICKLY TIME PASSES!!! AS HE TELLS ME STORIES, MY OLDER SON COMES TO GIVE ME A KISS CUZ HE'S OFF FOR THE WEEKEND WITH FAMILY...I AM ONE LUCKY LADY! I JUST CAN'T GET OVER HOW MUCH MY FAMILY HAS GROWN. I KNOW I'M SHOWING MY AGE AND I LOVE IT! I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH IN MY LIFE AND TO FINALLY BE AT A POINT WHERE I CAN HONESTLY SAY I'M HAPPY...IT AMAZES ME! JUST HAD TO SHARE MY TINY EPIPHANY...I AM A GROWN UP! AN IMMATURE ONE, BUT FUCK IT, I MADE IT OUT OF MY CRAZY ASS YOUTH IN ONE PIECE! AND THAT'S ALL THAT COUNTS! LOL....

LATERZ MY LOVERLIES!

~JANE~

IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT ME!

WOW I'M HAVING A TOTAL BRAINFART RIGHT NOW! I HAD SO MANY THINGS I WANTED TO TOUCH BASE ON HERE, BUT I LET ALL THE LITTLE EVENTS N HAPPENINGS BUILD UP TO WHERE I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START, LOL. 1ST LET'S START WITH ME CHEATING ON MY SEX DIET! LMAO! YEA, I KNOW, ABOUT FREAKIN TIME! AND OH DEAR LORD, JESUS CHRIST IN HEAVEN, WAS IT GOOD!!! AGAIN I'M AMAZED AT HOW WORTH THE WAIT IT WAS! MR. SMITH...U ROCKED MY FUCKING SOX! MUCHAS GRACIAS! LOL...2ND THING I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IS NOT AS FUN A TOPIC...MY BFF AND I ARE NOT TALKING...SHE TRIED TO ACCUSE ME OF SOMETHING INSTEAD OF JUST ASKING ME. I FEEL VERY HURT CUZ I AM BY FAR, THE BEST FRIEND SHE'S HAD IN THE LAST COUPLE YEARS. I THOUGHT SHE WAS AWARE OF THIS, BUT APPARENTLY NOT, SO I REFUSE TO PLAY THE BIGGER PERSON THIS TIME! I ALWAYS DO! SHE WAS WRONG AND I FEEL, QUITE HONESTLY BETRAYED. I'M SURE WE WILL GET OVER THE BS SOON ENOUGH, BUT I DON'T THINK I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE HER THE SAME WAY AFTER THIS. 1ST OF ALL IT'S SOMETHING SO PETTY. 2ND OF ALL, SHE JUST ASSUMED IT TO BE TRUE! SO WHETHER IT'S END OF THE WORLD SHIT OR NOT, I DON'T APPRECIATE THE DOUBT THAT WAS CAST OVER OUR FRIENDSHIP. AND AN APOLOGY TO OUR FRIENDS...WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN A TIGHT GROUP. DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER. AND THIS IS PUTTING A STRAIN ON ALL OF THEM AS WELL. SORRY MY BABYLUVS...BUT YA KNOW SHE'S WRONG. ANYWHOOOO....
ON YET ANOTHER SOUR NOTE....
I HAVE DECIDED TO LET GO OF MY SO CALLED "FRIENDSHIP" WITH MY EX. OUR RELATIONSHIP IS JUST WAY TOO UNHEALTHY...I LOVE HER WITH ALL OF MY HEART, BUT...YUP, THERE SHOULD NEVER BE A "BUT" WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE. WHICH IS WHY I'VE COME TO THIS DECISION. NOW, BEING PERFECTLY HONEST, I WILL PROBABLY CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT THIS IN A COUPLE WEEKS...BUT FOR NOW, I FEEL STRONG DAMMIT! LOL. NOW ON TO MUCH MORE FUN NEWS...
MY WEEKEND IS LOOKING PRETTY GOOD! TONIGHT GOING OUT WITH FRIENDS FOR SOME DRINKS, MUSIC N YES, DANCING! TOMORROW NIGHT GOING TO CELEBRATE THE AWESOMENESS OF BEING SINGLE WITH MY NEWLY SINGLE HOMIE! AND TO END MY WEEKEND, DINNER AND DRINKS WITH MY #1 BESTIE!!! AY QUE VIDA SABROSA! DIME SI PUEDES, QUIEN ESTA MAS FELIZ QUE YO? LOL...YEA THERE'S ALWAYS SOME BAD, BUT IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS...JUST ANOTHER TEST OF YOUR OVERRALL SELF...THAN YOU WILL NEVER FULLY APPRECIATE THE GOOD! SO I'M LIVING MY FREAKIN LIFE TO THE FULLEST! AS SHOULD YOU ALL!

AS ALWAYS MY LIL RAYS OF SUNSHINE..

BESOS Y ABRAZOS ~JANE~

OK, WHAT AM I WAITING FOR???

I KNOW I TALKED A WHOLE LOT OF SHIT ABOUT HOW MUCH IT SUCKED TO BE ON A DAMN SEX DIET...SO CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY I'M DOING IT TO MYSELF ALL OVER AGAIN??? I UNDERSTAND THE NEED FOR SELECTIVENESS...BUT COME THE FUCK ON! LOL. IT HAS NOW BEEN OVER A MONTH SINCE MY MOMENTOUS DE-VIRGINIZATION...WHY??? THERE ARE MOST DEFINITELY PLENTY OF PEOPLE OUT THERE MORE THAN WILLING TO HELP ME OUT! SO WHAT AM I WAITING FOR? I KNOW I'M PICKY, BUT LET'S FACE IT, I HAVEN'T ALWAYS MADE THE BEST DECISIONS IN THE PAST. I USUALLY ALLOW MY "WANT" FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE OVER MY SENSIBILITY. I AM A VERY PHYSICAL PERSON. SO I DON'T KNOW HOW THE HELL I'M EVEN HOLDING UP RIGHT NOW! AND IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T WANTED IT!!! I'M ACTUALLY BEASTIN FOR IT! LMFAO! WOW, I REALLY DO SHARE A BIT TOO MUCH INFORMATION ON THESE BLOGS! LOL...BUT GUESS WHAT? I FEEL BETTER ALREADY! AND WHO KNOWS, I MAY JUST GET IT IN TONIGHT!!! VAMOS A VER! ;-)

HASTA LA PROXIMA...

COMO SIEMPRE...

BESOS N HUGS,
~JANE~