WOW, WHAT AN EYE OPENER...

SEEMS I ALLOWED MYSELF TO BELIEVE A FANTASY...

THIS POST IS NOT TO EXPLAIN WHY SHIT HAPPENS...IT'S NOT GOING TO BE A "WHOA IS ME" BREAKDOWN...IT IS WHAT IT IS. I WAS WRONG. POINT PERIOD BLANK! DO I FEEL FOOLISH? HELL YES! HOWEVER, I DO APPRECIATE HONESTY. GUESS THAT'S JUST ME THOUGH...SINCE MY HONESTY IS WHAT FORCED "THE TALK" OR SHOULD I SAY, TEXT? CUZ DUDE DIDN'T EVEN CALL AND TELL ME HOW HE FELT. HE BBM'ED ME. AM I SURPRISED? I ACTUALLY AM. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT IF I WAS HONEST ABOUT WHO I AM AND HOW I FEEL, OR EVEN WHAT I'M THINKING...THAT IT WOULD, AT THE VERY LEAST, BE APPRECIATED. SEEMS PEOPLE JUST WANT TO HEAR WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR...WHICH IS ALMOST ALWAYS, NOT THE TRUTH!!! DO I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING OPEN ABOUT WHO I AM AND WHAT I DO? NOT ONE DAMN BIT! I WON'T LIE, AFTER I READ THE MESSAGES LAST NIGHT...I FELT HORRIBLE. I BASICALLY CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP. BUT I WOKE UP FEELING LIKE...THIS DUDE HAS NO IDEA HOW GOOD A WOMAN I AM! AND NOW, HE'LL NEVER KNOW. ALL BECAUSE OF WHAT I WRITE! THAT IS A DAMN SHAME...FOR HIM! SO YES, I'M OVER IT. FASTER THAN I WOULD'VE BEEN IN THE PAST. WHY? CUZ I'VE KEPT MY EYES AND EARS OPEN THROUGHOUT MY ADULT LIFE...I KNOW WHAT'S OUT THERE. SO I CAN SAY, WITHOUT ANY DOUBT IN MY MIND, THAT I AM A GOOD WOMAN. A GOOD PERSON. I HAVE NOT CROSSED TOO MANY PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF IN MY LIFETIME. SO I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND SOMEONE AS GENUINE AS I AM. YEA, I KNOW, THIS SOUNDS LIKE I'M FULL OF MYSELF...BUT THAT'S NOT THE CASE. IT'S JUST WHAT I SAID, I'VE PAID ATTENTION.

ANYWAY...I WON'T DWELL ON THIS ANYMORE THAN I DWELL ON UNNECESSARY DRAMA. I AM MOVING ON YET AGAIN. LOL...CHEESE AND RICE BRO...HOW MANY TIMES CAN ONE PERSON GO THROUGH THIS SHIT AND STILL BE ABLE TO SMILE??? I'M JUST GLAD, THAT AS I TYPE THIS...I AM MOST DEFINITELY SMILING. AFTER THE WAY I FELT LAST NIGHT, I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD BE CAPABLE OF THAT. IT'S SO AWESOME TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE...HOPE YOU ALL GET THE CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE THIS TYPE OF SELF AWARENESS. IT DIDN'T COME BY EASY FOR ME EITHER!!! YEARS OF STRUGGLE AND INSECURITY FINALLY BROUGHT ME SOME FORM OF SELF ACCEPTANCE. AND I AM HAPPIER IN MY LIFE THAN I'VE EVER BEEN. EVEN WITH ALL THE BS.

ANYWHOOOOO...TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK,LOL...

TIL NEXT TIME MY BABYLUV'S...

~JANE~