IT SEEMS I'M ALWAYS DOING THINGS TO ENSURE I GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! UGH! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? I KNOW BETTER! WELL, KNOWING BETTER AND ACTUALLY BEING/DOING BETTER ARE 2 TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS APPARENTLY! I CAN ONLY SIT HERE AND SHAKE MY HEAD AT MY OWN STUPIDITY. I'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT I DO WHAT I FEEL LIKE DOING WHEN I FEEL LIKE DOING IT...I REFUSE TO EVER LIVE WITH THAT ANNOYING LITTLE QUESTION "WHAT IF..."BUT IN THIS INSTANCE...I SHOULD HAVE LEFT THINGS ALONE!!! NOT ALL OPPORTUNITIES SHOULD BE SEIZED! LOL. OK, AT THIS POINT I THINK I'M ONLY SAYING WHAT I THINK OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR ME SAY. BECAUSE TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST...I DON'T FEEL BAD...WHY? I DON'T KNOW. BUT I DON'T. I ENJOYED MYSELF. I JUST DON'T LIKE MAKING THESE ACTIONS OF MINE, A REGULAR HABIT LOL. I KNOW I'M NOT BEING SPECIFIC, AND THAT IS QUITE INTENTIONAL! NOT FOR MY BENEFIT, BUT TO NOT GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH IN REGARDS TO OTHER PARTIES INVOLVED. I KNOW I AM USUALLY VERY OPEN AND HONEST ABOUT WHAT GOES ON IN MY LIFE...BUT SOME THINGS ARE BEST KEPT TO ONES SELF. I JUST FEEL I NEEDED TO VENT A BIT. I THINK I JUST FEEL BAD, FOR NOT FEELING BAD! A PART OF ME DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THAT. LIKE I KNOW I SHOULD FEEL BAD...BUT EVERYTIME I START TO THINK OF ALL THE REASONS WHY I WAS WRONG, I FIND MORE REASONS TO JUSTIFY WHAT I'VE DONE. OH WELL, IT'S TOO LATE NOW. I CVAN'T TURN BACK TIME AND RE-DO OR UNDO ANYTHING...NOT THAT I WOULD! I DID IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ACCEPTING SOMETHING I WANTED. YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN! LOL...ALWAYS DEFEDNING WHAT I'VE DONE WITH SOME TYPE OF JUSTIFICATION! LMAO...I'M HOPELESS!
ON A TOTALLY DIFFERENT TOPIC...THIS BORN AND RAISED IN NEW YORK CHICA JUST MAY BE MOVING OUT OF NEW YORK! I HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN COURTED BY CONNECTICUT AND NEW JERSEY, LOL. I SHALL KEEP YOU ALL UPDATED ON MY DECISION...TIL NEXT TIME FOLKS...
XOXOXOX
~JANE~
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