LIFE IS GOOD MY BABIES...
EVERYTHING HAPPENS 4 A REASON...I BELIEVE THIS NOW MORE THAN EVER! I HAVE MADE SOME PRETTY LAME ASS MISTAKES IN THE PAST...BUT I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH FROM EACH N EVERY ONE. I HAVE LEARNED MORE ABOUT MYSELF N WHAT I CAN WITHSTAND THAN I THOUGHT POSSIBLE. PEOPLE WASTE LIFETIMES REACHING 4 SELF REALIZATION...BUT I KNOW WHO I AM, WHAT I WANT, HOW 2 GET IT N MOST IMPORTANTLY...HOW 2 LET GO! LET GO OF THE BS, THE DRAMA, THOSE THAT SEEK 2 BRING U DOWN 2 THEIR LEVEL AND JUST BE ME N BE PRETTY FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT BEING ME! YEA I'VE STOOPED WELL BELOW MY COMFORT LEVEL RECENTLY...BUT BY DOING SO I KNOW JUST HOW HIGH I CAN REACH ALL ON MY OWN. I DON'T NEED NOR HAVE I EVER NEEDED ANY1 2 COMPLETE ME AS A PERSON. THAT WAS 1 OF THE MISTAKES I LEARNED FROM. I HELD ON 2 THIS STUPID SENSE OF "PARTNERSHIP" THAT DIDN'T EXIST. AND 2 B QUITE HONEST, WAS UNNECESSARY! I FELL IN2 THE LOVE N SUPPORT OF SOME1 ELSE CUZ I THOUGHT I COULD NOT MAKE IT ON MY OWN. BEING SO USED 2 ALWAYS HAVING HAD SOME1 BY MY SIDE. WHICH NEARLY CAUSED ME 2 STUMBLE N FALL...THE PAIN OF YET ANOTHER LOSS SO GREAT N SO SOON AFTER THE 1ST WAS UNBEARABLE...OR SO I THOUGHT. CUZ IN THE END, I'M STILL STANDING! I'M STRONGER THAN I EVER WAS. HAPPIER THAN I'VE BEEN IN A LONG TIME AND EXTREMELY PROUD OF THE WOMAN N MOTHER I HAVE BECOME. I WISH I COULD SAY I AM LIVING W/O REGRET, BUT I CAN NOT. MY TURNAROUND WAS MADE POSSIBLE BECAUSE OF A DECISION I DID NOT MAKE ON MY OWN, BUT 1 THAT I ALLOWED SOME1 ELSE 2 MAKE 4 ME...I DO NOT REGRET WHAT I DID, HOWEVER I AM ASHAMED THAT I WOULD ALLOW MYSELF 2 B SO EASILY INFLUENCED. AS I STATED AT THE START OF THIS, I KNOW EVERYTHING HAPPENS 4 A REASON. IT WAS NOT MEANT 2 BE, SO I HAVE LEARNED 2 ACCEPT THAT. I DO, OF COURSE, HAVE MY MOMENTS WHERE I THINK OF THE "WHAT IF'S"...BUT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS WHAT IF! WHAT'S DONE IS DONE N IT'S WHERE IT BELONGS...IN THE PAST. IT'S FUNNY CUZ THIS BLOG WAS MEANT 4 MYSPACE...BUT I HAVE 2 MANY STALKERS 2 LET THEM GET THIS MUCH OF A GLIMPSE IN2 THE REAL ME...SO I WILL COPY N PASTE N BRING IT 2 BLOGSPOT! LOL...
AS ALWAYS MY BABYLUVS...
TIL NEXT TIME...
~HUGS LOVE N KISSES~
JANe......
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